Unless you’ve had your head stuck inside a gas oven for the past week, you’ll know The Great British Bake Off is back.
Despite being on Series 7, I only sat down to my first episode last year. As I’m coeliac, I thought the cakey subject matter would frustrate me. Like a horny nun sitting through Magic Mike Live.
Cake rage is a very real thing. The bitter disappointment rising to a silent, jealous fury when confronted with treats you dare not eat. Witnessing workmates tucking into coffee cakes and Krispy Kremes on special occasions. When sweet cravings are at their monthly peak and you’re greeted by shelves of cheesecakes and syrup sponge… and trudge home with an Eat Natural bar stuffed in your pocket. Knowing friends can have their pick of the cafe tray bakes while you mull over sweet FA – or fork out for another plastic-wrapped gluten-free chocolate brownie. People have killed over less.
But no, after the 1,000th “Did you watch Bake Off last night?”, I gave it a go. And it’s now one of the few programmes I watch live. For getting me to tune in on time, Mary Berry is up there with a topless Poldark.
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The key seems to be adding more liquid – or ingredients that I never have in my house. Then giving up and eating an entire packet of gluten-free Hobnobs.
My baking prowess pre-diagnosis was pretty poor, so at least I have an excuse for why you could build a fortress using sturdy bricks of my banana bread.
But Bake Off, despite all the spongey temptresses on show, is a must-watch. Probably because the contestants are equally tormented by cakes.
By Kay Harrison – GBBO super fan (shame she can’t eat most of the cakes)