Lactose mishaps with a magic cure

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The last couple of blogs have been about meal disasters and accidents involving nut allergies and getting glutened in unfortunate places.

So in the latest of this series, I thought I’d share with you my lactose mishaps and how my body reacted.

I am not as sensitive to lactose as I am gluten, so I don’t think I’d have a reaction from cross-contamination. I’m sure there must have been plenty of times when someone has used the same teaspoon to stir my tea after theirs, for example. My children also like to give me big slobbery kisses after eating ice cream and drinking their milk. Mmmmm… delightful.

There have, however, been a fair few incidents when I have had lactose accidentally. The most recent was in Spain, where my parents have a house. My poor parents have to be on high alert when we visit. There’s me, the coeliac with lactose and fructose issues. PLUS my young daughters – one confirmed coeliac, one suspected.
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I always feel bloated and have a funny tummy anyway and I don’t think the heat and flight helps. This time was ridiculous, though. I felt pregnant and couldn’t even do up my shorts.

I didn’t realise for days but the ham my mum had in the fridge had milk in it. It wasn’t until I was buying some more and looking at the label that I noticed. The very same day, I ate a sautéed potato that Mum had lovingly prepared and she looked very strange and grabbed the bowl off me. She’d realised she had fried it in real butter, just thinking at the time about using the non-gluten-contaminated butter for my girls. Oops!

Luckily, I didn’t have the full-blown reaction of bad toilet experiences but I did get a really bad head and felt properly out of sorts. The best way to describe it is nausea, lack of energy and brain fog. Awful. But as I only had a small amount, I was back to normal after a night. My magic cure is ‘fat’ Coca Cola – it really settles my stomach.

So the moral of the story is, always check labels and question people. Even your mum can get it wrong.

Karen Woodford – extreme tricky eater with a life of mishaps

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